5 Things to Avoid on a Charcuterie Tray: Rocks! - Tabs - Tues. May 14, 2024

New Biden polls, Putin's defense minister, infrastructure week, RFK Jr.'s brain, Sean Hannity's house, and more in this viral news summary.

Good morning, folks! Are you feeling the effects of allergies like we are? It seems like we've been in a half-sleeping haze since Saturday, but if these words are making sense to you, then we're winning!

Let's dive into some stories to spark conversation:

Could all those new Biden polls be more positive than they appear? According to Simon the Hopium Guy, Biden performs better with likely voters compared to just registered ones or those who are alive. Check out the Saturday and Monday Hopium Chronicles for more insights.

Josh Marshall also believes the race is neck and neck in the Rust Belt states, with Biden needing to make up ground in southern swing states like Arizona and Georgia. Remember, polls have historically underestimated the Democratic vote.

Vladimir Putin recently replaced his defense minister Sergei Shoigu with a new appointee. Keep an eye out for Shoigu and some unfortunate accidents in the near future.

Secretary of State Antony Blinken is back in Ukraine now that military aid has been approved.

Under Biden, Infrastructure Week is no longer a joke. Heather Cox Richardson highlights Biden's accomplishments and how Democrats are now America's cheerleaders.

RFK Jr.'s brain worm claims it's qualified to be on the Texas ballot.

Which time zone is the absolute worst to live in, especially for internet work? We can relate to this struggle all too well.

In real estate news, Sean Hannity's house in Centre Island, New York is on the market for $13.75 million. Despite its beauty, it's hard to forget that Hannity likely engaged in activities inside.

Have you watched the hilarious film Bottoms from last year? The high school comedy genre has certainly evolved.

The New York Times may have its flaws, but it claims a 30-minute chicken katsu recipe is the perfect weeknight dinner.

That's all for now! Remember, consider becoming a paying subscriber to Wonkette for exclusive content. Let's keep the conversation going!